Really appreciate you opening up about this Martin - as a single guy in his mid-thirties I feel this societal pressure to settle down and get married but there's still so many things I want to do before I hunker down into a serious relationship. Then adding kids into the mix is a whole other story. The idea of finding a partner to co-parent with has come up a few times this past week, I'm curious to see what kind of shift will happen in the coming decades as less people are getting married and choosing to stay single.
Yeah, it's definitely interesting to consider the societal implications of changing rates of marriage and parenthood. For what it's worth, that feeling of having things to do never goes away (at least it never has for me, through marriage / kids / and now divorce).
It’s so wonderful to read someone describing what my divorce was like as well. We were married 8 years and divorced very amicably. We vowed to always put the kids first, and that guided everything. Of course we never spoke ill of each other, nor were we selfish with visitation. We made up our own schedule, but when the boys wanted more Daddy time, for instance, I always said yes, and vice versa. It’s been 20 years and we recently had a serious dispute. Our boys, 23 and 25, said they felt, for the first time, that their parents were getting divorced. Their hearts were breaking, so from then on we kept the dispute between ourselves until it was resolved. We had forgotten about the most important thing, to put them first. We hope to never do that again.
Thanks for this, Julie. Hearing examples of other people making your vision reality (whether that's about divorce or anything in life) is the greatest thing, because you see it's actually possible and not some fantasy, as others might have you believe. I appreciate you.
A lovely read. Count your blessings for an amicable split (if it is indeed as amicable as it sounds). Very few exes end up milling about the old house a month after moving out.
Every time I read you're writing I'm so struck at the similarities in our lives. 21 years ago I ended a 14-year relationship. I've always been big on mottos. During that transition my motto was "Comfort is the enemy". I did the leaving and threw myself into some pretty intense discomfort for several years. I came out of it a better person. And the cherry on the cake is that my ex, who didn't want anything to do with me for about a decade after the breakup is now on my roster of good friends. Oh, and one other thing, that whole "Everything happens for a reason" thang is a crock of crap! Enjoy your new journey ❤️
Your amazing views, observations and wisdom about marriage and divorce are inspiring. We love you and know you will find peace and contentment. You and Haile are the brave ones and making it work for your children is exemplary.
Really appreciate you opening up about this Martin - as a single guy in his mid-thirties I feel this societal pressure to settle down and get married but there's still so many things I want to do before I hunker down into a serious relationship. Then adding kids into the mix is a whole other story. The idea of finding a partner to co-parent with has come up a few times this past week, I'm curious to see what kind of shift will happen in the coming decades as less people are getting married and choosing to stay single.
Yeah, it's definitely interesting to consider the societal implications of changing rates of marriage and parenthood. For what it's worth, that feeling of having things to do never goes away (at least it never has for me, through marriage / kids / and now divorce).
It’s so wonderful to read someone describing what my divorce was like as well. We were married 8 years and divorced very amicably. We vowed to always put the kids first, and that guided everything. Of course we never spoke ill of each other, nor were we selfish with visitation. We made up our own schedule, but when the boys wanted more Daddy time, for instance, I always said yes, and vice versa. It’s been 20 years and we recently had a serious dispute. Our boys, 23 and 25, said they felt, for the first time, that their parents were getting divorced. Their hearts were breaking, so from then on we kept the dispute between ourselves until it was resolved. We had forgotten about the most important thing, to put them first. We hope to never do that again.
Thanks for this, Julie. Hearing examples of other people making your vision reality (whether that's about divorce or anything in life) is the greatest thing, because you see it's actually possible and not some fantasy, as others might have you believe. I appreciate you.
A lovely read. Count your blessings for an amicable split (if it is indeed as amicable as it sounds). Very few exes end up milling about the old house a month after moving out.
Every time I read you're writing I'm so struck at the similarities in our lives. 21 years ago I ended a 14-year relationship. I've always been big on mottos. During that transition my motto was "Comfort is the enemy". I did the leaving and threw myself into some pretty intense discomfort for several years. I came out of it a better person. And the cherry on the cake is that my ex, who didn't want anything to do with me for about a decade after the breakup is now on my roster of good friends. Oh, and one other thing, that whole "Everything happens for a reason" thang is a crock of crap! Enjoy your new journey ❤️
Your amazing views, observations and wisdom about marriage and divorce are inspiring. We love you and know you will find peace and contentment. You and Haile are the brave ones and making it work for your children is exemplary.